I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw Claire on the sidewalk in my neighborhood. I haven’t seen or spoken to Claire in over five years. Although I did think about her often. I was in the midst of walking up to her to say hello when I see her start to sway. It didn’t look good. I run to catch her mid-fall as Boomer (my dog) looks up in his own way of concern. This wasn’t good. I rushed back to my house with her in my arms and got us into the car after putting Boomer inside and sped to the hospital. What was she doing walking alone? Was she going to be okay? What happened to her? I hasted through every question as I rushed Claire to the hospital and carried her in. I went to get her bag which I had left in the car as they strolled her into a room and returned to her side. Leaving Claire like this wasn’t an option.

I waited while the doctor assessed her and I spoke to him ensuring her safety. I think he only shared her health information – thinking I was her husband. I always liked Claire, and I had this immense love for her throughout college although I never thought to tell her. Fear of losing her entirely was enough for me to keep those feelings to myself. So, I kept my feelings for her a secret.

I walk back into the room with the doctor to find Claire is already awake. The doctor told me she was pregnant. I would’ve known if I had at least reached out from time to time while I was away. But I probably would’ve never been ready to hear that she got married. That hurt. I hoped he was good enough for her but since he was nowhere to be found when she was clearly not well – I had my doubts. Claire deserved the world. She tells me she’s now a housewife. I expected to hear something far greater for her. She doesn’t deserve to be diminished to a housewife. She is worth more. To me, she was always brilliant.

I bask in the glory of the Claire I knew coming back to light as she proclaimed her plan of re-entry into the architectural world. She was oblivious as to how time stopped when she smiled at me. She was the only woman who was able to do that.

As I sat there giving her a reassuring smile, I couldn’t help but wonder how different things could’ve been had I told her my feelings for her all those years ago. Would it have changed anything? Would I have Claire by my side? Or was I destined to be the friend who was secretly and hopelessly in love with her? I catch myself before I dive too deep. Claire was married now. Not only that, she had a child on the way. It didn’t matter what I felt. She had other priorities and obligations and I couldn’t interfere. So I just continue to bask in this moment.

Only the moment ended when the man I presume to be Claire’s husband appeared. After seeing him in the doorway, I notice almost immediately the cold stare he gave her rather than the concern he should have for his wife and child and the way he eyes raged when he’d seen my hand placed on her shoulder. I don’t believe I was mistaken in assuming it’s her husband. This was him.

The man, who I now know, does not deserve her.