Chapter Seventy Two
When I walked into our room, he wasn’t there.
The sobs racked my whole frame, the guilt felt too much to bear. What if mom was right? What if this had been while Thane wanted me back here? I had to be strong when I was with her; I had to be the stronger one, but now back in my room, I could be weak.
I hated the fact that I could no longer see a light at the end of the tunnel.
This room, despite being so wide, felt so suffocating all of a sudden. I inhaled deeply, trying to steady my breathing, but that didn’t work this time. 1
I paced round the room, my heart slamming against my chest. What if Thane wanted me locked in here for the rest of my life, in this pack, never able to escape?, what if I could never leave?
The thought alone builds a strange claustrophobic feeling in me. I walked to the dressing room, pulling the door open. I pulled down all the clothes there, threw down the desk and chairs. I picked up the broken leg from one of the table, and I slammed it against the
her glass display cabinet. I picked up the flower vase, letting it fall to the ground, shattering into pieces. I searched through the drawers for the weapon–the same one Beatrix had given me when I followed her down to the underground chamber. I had brought it in here and kept it somewhere. How could I have forgotten?
M
I returned back to the room, going down on my knees. I looked beneath the bed. Nothing. Nothing was there; where was the damn gun?
I kicked down the drawer in frustration, tearing down the curtains, but nothing could satisfy my rage. What was more alarming was what I had planned to do with the gun. I wanted to make a very selfish decision, but I felt this sickening need to escape this place any way I could, and that would have been the only way, except…
I walked into the bathroom and I stopped by the bathtub. I turned the water on, letting the tub fill up to the brim.
Reckless.
I was being reckless, but I didn’t want to think; I didn’t want to think about anyone; this was me making a decision. I stared one last time at the mirror, and what I saw was a lost girl, a girl about to make a very big mistake, and so I looked away because I didn’t want to see more. I didn’t bother taking off my clothes; I stepped into the tub filled with water, and I settled’in it.
I thought of all the good times I had; they were so little, but that was all I had to focus on as I lay in the bathtub, letting the water close over me.
I was finally free; no one could ever hurt me or harm me again. My lungs burned in a desperate need for air. I could simply let go and push back to the surface, but I didn’t want that; I didn’t want to face the harsh reality before my eyes. The pain in my lungs intensified till I felt my
Chapter Seventy Two
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whole body jerk. Just a little more and there would be no more pain; a little more and I would
be free.
The darkness was all I could see, threatening to take me further under, and then…
Strong arms around me held me, I would have struggled if not for the burning sensation in my chest; just then I was out of the water. The darkness disappeared, and all I saw was a blinding light. The pain in my chest subsided, but it was still there, a dull throb. I coughed out water.
“Breathe Riley, breathe,” Thane calls, and his voice sounded different; it could all be some kind of hallucination, but I thought I sensed the panic‘ in his voice. My breaths normalized.
Now I could think clearly; there was one single thought in my mind. What the hell had I done or rather, what the hell was I trying to do?
I couldn’t believe it; it was like I had been under a kind of spell making me feel and believe that the waters were my only way out of all these, making me believe this was the only way I could be at peace.
I’ve heard of suicide attempts before; never had I thought I would try to end my own life I believed I was a fighter, and yet I had done quite the opposite; I had given up, not caring about my mother, who would be in so much pain.
I closed my eyes, and a single teardrop fell down my eyes.
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Chapter Seventy Two
whole body jerk. Just a little more and there would be no more pain; a little more and I would be free.
The darkness was all I could see, threatening to take me further under, and then…
Strong arms around me held me, I would have struggled if not for the burning sensation in my chest; just then I was out of the water. The darkness disappeared, and all I saw was a blinding light. The pain in my chest subsided, but it was still there, a dull throb. I coughed out water.
“Breathe Riley, breathe,” Thane calls, and his voice sounded different; it could all be some kind of hallucination, but I thought I sensed the panic‘ in his voice. My breaths normalized.
Now I could think clearly; there was one single thought in my mind. What the hell had I done or rather, what the hell was I trying to do?
I couldn’t believe it; it was like I had been under a kind of spell making me feel and believe that the waters were my only way out of all these, making me believe this was the only way I could be at peace.
I’ve heard of suicide attempts before; never had I thought I would try to end my own life. I believed I was a fighter, and yet I had done quite the opposite; I had given up, not caring about my mother, who would be in so much pain.
I closed my eyes, and a single teardrop fell down my eyes.
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Chapter Seventy Three
