Chapter Fifty Five
Thane paused. For the first time, I saw a flicker of emotion on his face.
“She was dead. And in her hands, she held this paper. It was a message for me. She had explained the true reason she turned me down earlier: she hadn’t wanted me close because she knew I would be hurt in the end. She had this sickness, an issue with her blood; she said it could never be cured. I did notice how thin she got, but every time I asked, she came up with a story, maybe factoring it all to stress, and I believed her. I felt like a fool for not looking deeper. This illness had been eating her out for a while, and that was the reason she settled out alone; she didn’t want to hurt anyone. She said she had been selfish for wanting me and selfish for having me, even if she knew it would leave me broken in the end.
I had been so furious at everything. At myself for not realizing it soon, at fate for pairing me with her as a mate, and at her for keeping it away from me, maybe I could have helped her if only she told me, we had the best set of healers. Love was pain, and whatever we had was short -lived. I couldn’t control my grief. I was ready to let go of everything for her; she was all I had all I wanted, and then she was gone. I lost myself; I couldn’t control my emotions, and it was turning me into a beast.
Axel stepped in. He saved,me; he had taken me to a spell weaver. I don’t know exactly what she was, but she was more than just a healer; she said the ache I felt was too much to bear and there would be no other way I could recover except the pain could be shared. Axel hadn’t hesitated to help, and the spell weaver or whatever she called herself–had gone ahead to perform a Unification Ritual which had only ever been attempted twice in history.
But there was more Axel would lose. He would never find his mate, and he would forever share
my
emotions.” Thane finished, and I was silent, lost in thought.
I wiped the tears that dripped down my cheeks. Now I understood why Thane didn’t want me to tell anyone about this–this had been one of his vulnerable moments, and I couldn’t believe he had shared this with me.
I knew he wouldn’t want to speak anymore about his mate or abide in the topic, so I had to move on even if I still had so many questions.
“Does Axel regret his decision?” I asked. I knew it felt like hell living without one’s mate, but to be clouded with someone else’s feelings did feel bad too.
“He doesn’t… yet. But I’ll never forgive myself for being so weak, forcing him to risk his very own life for me,” Thane says, and I wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault that everyone was allowed to be weak once in a while but I knew that Thane wouldn’t want to hear any of that,
not from me.
Now it did make sense, while the both of them seemed so close, and he didn’t mind sharing with Axel.
“Your pack doesn’t have a gamma. Why?”
+25 BONUS
Chapter Fifty Five
“I hadn’t found the right person. At a time, Beatrix was my first choice, but then do I really need a gamma?”
He didn’t. Axel and Thane could handle things just fine, or maybe I didn’t like the idea of any more power being passed to Beatrix. She was already crossing lines; it would be worse if she were the Gamma.
“I have something to tell you about Beatrix. She spoke to me earlier, she didn’t seem convinced that we were mates; she’s convinced I’m blackmailing you into doing all these.”
“And when did you discover this?” Thane said the softness had disappeared from his eyes, and I wondered if I had just destroyed the mood.
“It had been a while ago…”
“A while ago?, and you said nothing?”
